After a divorce, many parental relationships are strained from all the arguments and various conflicts that the couple has had to endure. However, a divorce is much harder on the children than it is on the parents. This is because children don’t understand all of the details pertaining to the divorce or why everything in their life will be changing.
It takes a lot of work to try to keep your children’s world from turning upside down after you have divorced your spouse. Children of divorced parents have many feelings that they suppress, which can lead to angry outbursts when things in their life start changing. Reactions like these make both parents feel inadequate about the relationship they are trying to maintain with their children. Below, we give you a few tips that can help you maintain a good relationship with your children after divorce.
#1: Don’t Talk About Adult Issues with Children
Children who are young often don’t realize that because each parent might have less income, it creates more stress for them. However, younger kids don’t always need to hear about their parent’s financial situation every time they ask for something. Remember that younger kids are still coping with changes after the divorce, so don’t add adult issues to their list of things to deal with.
#2: Don’t Speak Badly About Your Ex in Front of Your Children
Children get really upset when they hear their parents arguing. After your divorce, you should try to maintain a relationship with your ex that is closer to being friends, this way you are less likely to argue or fight in front of your children. When you constantly argue with your ex, your kids can be inclined to all sorts of unhealthy reactions.
#3: Don’t Ask Your Children About Your Ex-Spouse
When your children go for a visit with the other parent, don’t ask them to specify what your ex was doing. It’s okay to ask them what they did or where they went, but don’t ask for personal details about your former parent. There are two reasons for this:
- Kids can misinterpret something and tell the other parent something that isn’t true.
- Asking about your ex is the beginning of pitting your children against your ex, something that should never be done by any parent.
#4: Stay in Close Contact with Your Children
Now days, technology makes it easier than ever to keep in touch with your children. You can use Skype frequently so that your children can see and hear you. If you have older children, keep your lines of communication open so that they can email you or message you on Facebook at any time. This allows them to have a more regular relationship with you. You can also choose to schedule regular phone calls that work with your children’s schedule or at a time when both parent’s households are calm.
#5: Show Up to Your Children’s Extracurricular Activities
Show up for your children at important events. Whether your kids are involved in sports, dance lessons, school-related field trips, or music recitals, make it a point to do your best to always be there. When only one parent shows up and takes interest in the children’s activities, the kids can grow to resent the parent who is not there, which can cause more stress in the parent-child relationship.
At the Law Office of Nicholas T. Exarhakis, we offer each of our clients personalized solutions for their family law disputes. With nearly 30 years of experience, our Annapolis divorce attorney has the skills and resources you need to make the legal process go smoothly. If you need help with your divorce case, call (410) 593-0040 to request your free consultation today.